Chapter 1: Building Resilience

The most prominent attribute I emerged from childhood with was my supple resilience borne of challenging times and a quiet resolve to not make waves. Understanding of my self and my world has continually dawned over the entirety of my life. The blossoming realizations happened in ways that are slow and fast, easy and hard, relieving and crushing. I have been a quiet observer of things since way back and this has allowed me to pick up on any number of signals that my life was different in ways that people found discomforting.

I learned to keep quiet about those things.

I grew up poor. I grew up feeling shame, distress, and loneliness from my father’s suicide. I grew up with a neglectful, alcoholic parent. I grew up in a household with no college-educated parents. I grew up in rural America.

I kept quiet and leaned into my strengths.

I grew up as a girl in a girl's body. I grew up liking boys. I grew up white. I grew up with a supportive family on the periphery. I grew up with an able body. I grew up smart. I grew up pretty.

Before I ever could have named them, I was full capable of leaning into my strengths which enabled me to survive the turmoil and trauma.